NO ONE CARES

Becky Nordenstupid, the commonly unknown and unpopular roommate of sexified bachelor extraordinaire, Thomas Fricilone, has announced, again, that she has diabetes.  A matter of extreme unimportance has left the nation again with a drab story and uninteresting complaining.  As Nordenstupid questions, quite redundantly everyday, “I’m about to test my blood sugar, does anyone care?” The world stands silent, hoping that a reaction of no action may clue in to Becky that in fact, no one ever cares.  

The pale, red-headed glucose thriving Becky has announced her disease this time through requests of an energy drink.  ”A Red Bull, please.  Sugar-free because I have the ‘betes,” is all too familiar to the ears of her dashingly good-looking roommate.  ”I don’t know how many times I’ve stressed to her that I couldn’t care any less.” quotes Fricilone in a ridiculously sexy accent. “Sometimes, I think she just likes to hear herself talk, while other times, I think it’s delirium from the ‘betes.  I’d feel sorry for her if she wasn’t so fat.  Also, I think she may be faking.”

For more redundancy, check out Becky’s blog:
http://beckynotrebecca.tumblr.com/

*wrote this for my roommate, more boring press releases to come…